Thursday, December 31, 2009

Find You, Find Love








Image by Robert Proksa


For some, 2009 brought love. For others, that connection with a special somebody remains elusive trudging into 2010.


Whether you're in love, still searching, or fed up with the whole thing altogether, it's imperative that we all take a little inventory.


“It is crucial for you to figure out who you are before you go shopping for somebody with whom you want to live the rest of your life,” says eHarmony.com founder, Dr. Neil Clark Warren in Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons: How to Find Your Soul Mate.


We're so consumed with scrutinizing potential partners that we usually don't examine our own issues and how they relate to the opposite sex.


Dr. Warren has developed twenty questions to help us in this quest. “By the time you carefully answer all twenty questions, you will be amazed at what a clear picture you will have of yourself,” he says.


I'm a huge fan of introspection; the Delect Connect is a testament to that. I think we'd be better people if we invested more energy into our own minds and being real with ourselves.


After first look at Dr. Warren's questions, I was surprised by how many of them I couldn't answer off the top of my head. But as I answer them, I'll post my responses here.


As you embark on the new year, resolve not only to lose weight and save money, but also to get to know yourself better. A little soul searching can help you keep—or find—your soul mate.


  1.  Who is the most important person in your life and why?
  2.  What is the one dream for your life you most look forward to achieving?
  3. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you angry?
  4. Who has the capacity to make you feel loved more than anybody else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to cause you to feel so lovable?
  5. What is it like being you?  More precisely, how do you feel about yourself--physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?
  6. When do you feel inspired?  Who or what contributes to your sense of inspiration?  How does it feel when you are inspired?
  7. What is the most important thing in the world to you?
  8. If you had one day to live, how would you want to spend it?
  9. When do you feel most afraid?
  10. If you could accomplish only one thing during the rest of your life, what would it be?
  11. What bores you?  What always bores you?  And what never bores you?
  12. How important is money to you?  How much time do you spend thinking about it?  What income level do you aspire to?
  13. What is the role of God in your life?  Do you believe there is a God?  And if so, what is God like in relation to you?
  14. In order, what are your three strongest interests?
  15. Who is your biggest enemy?  And precisely how and why did this person become your biggest enemy?
  16. How important is food to you?  Do you think of it very often?  And do you feel disciplined in your management of food intake?
  17. Does the idea of being married to the same person for the rest of your life sound appealing to you or not so appealing?  What is it about it that you especially like or not like?
  18. Do you think of yourself as an emotionally healthy person?  In what ways are you especially healthy and in what ways can you use improvement?
  19. What is the role of conflict in your life?  Do you argue or fight very much with the people closest to you?  How does it usually turn out?
  20. What specifically would you like your closest friends to say about you at your funeral?

8 comments:

Rose said...

I like this. And it is so true. We might need to do a pow wow or something on this. I need some insight. Dinner next weekend? Discussion/BDay celebration? Holla at me.

Miss Jaye said...

These are excellent questions to ask yourself before finding a mate, and even when you find a potential one...great post!

Delect said...

Rose,

Yes a pow wow may be in order. I'll holla at cha.

Delect said...

Miss Jaye, make sure you answer them...or at least ponder them!

~Lisi P. said...

Good questions. I have to get on this! And pass along the good info.

Delect said...

Lisi P.,

Hope you gain some insight!

:)

torrance said...

Very true. I say this all the time to my lady. It's always easier to point the finger at another individual when speaking about an issue, than to point it at yourself. Hence the words self..... image,awareness,worth,etc.,etc. when seeking love from another, ask can I accept he/she as they are not as they can be. Most importantly, be honest, because it will save you a lot of time,energy,heartache and stress. Mostly it will allow you time to focus on the individual who needs your help in improving or changing.... yourself This has been brought to you by T.Johnson... Black man,businessman, and well. .. human. lol. Miss delectable one, you done it again ,keep it coming girl. We'll catch up one day. Peace

torrance said...
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