Sunday, April 18, 2010

Usher, We Need to Talk

Usher and Tameka Raymond...all smiles.

"There goes my babbyyyyyy..." Usher croons on his new album.

When a man is singing, most of us girls imagine he's singing to someone special, if not us. Good singers make this possible by caressing you into believing every note. Which is why I cringe hearing anything by Usher these days.

I believed him before he got married, when he honorably defended his decision to wed his stylist in the summer of 2007. She was an older woman, a woman with kids, thickness, and chocolate skin. "No one or nothing can change, forever yours here I stand" he sang on the Here I Stand album, released the following summer.

One year later, in the summer of 2009 (What's with the summer motif, Ush?), he filed for divorce.

Now, I'm not one of those celebrity-obsessed folks who governs my mood by the breakups and makeups of people that don't even know I exist, but I was disappointed. Goodness, two years? Can you really say you gave it an honest try after only two years?

So no, I'm not ready for "You don't know how good it feels to call you my girl...there goes my babyyyyy..."

I don't want to hear a song about the next woman. It's too soon. And for a long while, I'm not going to believe any lovey dovey, I-wanna-be-with-you-stuff that comes out of Usher's mouth.

So, I wonder, do these sentiments translate to dating a divorcée? If I've dated a divorced man, the divorce wasn't recent. It isn't a deal breaker, but if things got serious, I might be a little wary of the relationship. Regardless of the details surrounding the divorce, the fact is that this is a man who told somebody that she was the one and meant it. He pledged vows to a woman and to God...and walked away.

Therefore, if I was involved with a divorcée, despite the situation being in the past, we'd have to go there. For me. I'd have to explore the thought process this man went through to get to what I hope is considered a last resort. Did he go into his marriage viewing divorce as a viable option? Did they go through counseling? Had he stuck around another year, would that have made a difference?

He'd have to be comfortable enough to revisit the topic until I'm comfortable enough to accept it. I'd need to figure out if marriage is something this guy takes lightly, like sending back the so-so spinach dip in exchange for chicken fingers.

As for Mr. Raymond, I may end up buying another album someday. Or at the very least, I won't break a nail changing the station when his songs comes on.

1 comment:

~Lisi P. said...

I honestly didn't think the marriage would last a year. Marriage isn't for everyone.